When you have been diagnosed with cancer, you find each day is different. You can have good and bad days depending on the nature of the cancer. Cancer hits everyone of all ages, it does not care whom it takes over, male, female, boy, girl, young or old. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would have cancer.
I always took care of myself and never comprehended that it was already inside of me, building a home!! Wouldn’t have minded but it never asked if it could move in! Life is never easy and especially if there is no sign of cancer in your family. My brother kindly told me after he heard of my diagnosis that he had checked with our father and was told, he could not understand it as it had never been in the family so it is not always a family thing.
When I was diagnosed, I was just 50 years old and thought life was good but it gave me the biggest shock of my life at the end of 2011. Neither Paul or I were prepared for the news we heard that night in A&E at Northwick Park. It was devastating and took us a long while to come to terms with things.
All the medical problems I had experienced I know realise was probably the cancer but my surgery were gutted when they heard the news. I went off sick with back pain which deteriorated to the state I was losing the ability to walk and an MRI scan was ordered. This scan showed up the cancer.
When I look back it makes sense with all the pains I had been experiencing in my back and chest area. My story in detail can be found at www.allayne.co.uk which tells my story and life on our boat Mischief.
Four years or so later, I am still here. I understand that I should have only survived 6 months with the severity of the cancer and condition I was in at the time of my diagnosis. I was quite ill. However, having said that, I have survived a burst appendix and pneumonia. Life has not been easy. I live in pain every day in one form or another and get tired really easily.
I find it a strain to do more than the new me can deal with. Coming to terms with being disabled because of my back and ability to walk now, was a hard pill to swallow. The Sue Ryder and MacMillan nurses have been marvellous in ensuring I have a stable and good quality of life and to try and keep my pain management in control.
Life is not easy living with cancer, whatever form, let alone having incurable cancer or terminal cancer that they like to say now which sounds more devastating that incurable but it is what it is.
I have no idea how long I have on this earth but we constantly get told to not waste a day but to get out there and make the most of life. We try and do this and do things, we would not normally do. People ask us you are always doing things, well yes we are because we just don’t know when things will change and I wont be able to even do what I do now. But I will fight until the end, that is a promise.